Five Years Later

View from Astor Place

Paris is Burning

...in her own personal hell.

The week just keeps getting worse and worse for fauxlebrity, Paris Hilton.

Last week, Paris was denied entry into Bungalow 8 for a private MTV Video Music Awards after-party. Look at the pictures. Those are real tears! She's not that good of an actress! I've seen her movie! And by "movie", I *ahem* of course mean House of Wax. What movie did you think I was talking about? Pervert.

Last night, she got busted for a DUI. Upon learning of this, I think I actually began giggling like a girl. Life usually isn't this delicious.

At this point, all we need is for Paris to be attacked by a pack of stray kinkajous* with poor fashion sense and the trifecta will be complete!

I'm practically bathing in schadenfreude right now.

*Kinkajai? No, I guess I was right the first time.