Paris is Burning

...in her own personal hell.

The week just keeps getting worse and worse for fauxlebrity, Paris Hilton.

Last week, Paris was denied entry into Bungalow 8 for a private MTV Video Music Awards after-party. Look at the pictures. Those are real tears! She's not that good of an actress! I've seen her movie! And by "movie", I *ahem* of course mean House of Wax. What movie did you think I was talking about? Pervert.

Last night, she got busted for a DUI. Upon learning of this, I think I actually began giggling like a girl. Life usually isn't this delicious.

At this point, all we need is for Paris to be attacked by a pack of stray kinkajous* with poor fashion sense and the trifecta will be complete!

I'm practically bathing in schadenfreude right now.

*Kinkajai? No, I guess I was right the first time.