Scratching the Surface

On May 30, 2007, Bill Gates publicly announced a new technology called Microsoft Surface, an innovative combination of software and hardware that puts interactive, touchscreen computing into a tabletop. The interface allows users to select and manipulate data with a touch of a finger.

A short teaser trailer on the Surface can be found here, and here is a parody of that video.

Now, here's my question: Say -- instead of Bill Gates -- Steve Jobs was the one to come out with this invention at the next MacWorld conference, with the mysterious Apple press invitations, a website that didn't say anything except show a glowing silhouette of something, etc. He'd have the big presentation with colorful, glossy images, and an opening pitch to the crowd that went something like:

"We've done it again. Yup. The iPhone was able to take an IPOD...a PHONE...and a FULL WEB BROWSER...and combine it into one amazing device. It was incredible. [murmurs] I knew you'd love it. People doubted us, but we're 5 million iPhones strong in our first year, right on our targets. So I knew I needed to give you more. [cheers] And I did [louder cheers]: I present to you, the iSurface! [wild applause, a few journalists pass out]

You're sitting at home and want music? Don't even get up, just use your fingers to browse through your library with our patented CoverFlow technology. That's right! We took CoverFlow from the iPod and iTunes, and put it in your iSurface! [wild applause] I know, it's great!

How about this - you're out at a family dinner with the spouse and kids. The children are getting loud. Well with a few swipes of your finger, they're watching last night's episode of SpongeBob Squarepants, right in the table, giving you and your spouse a chance to enjoy each other's company, in the calm presence of your children. [wild applause] When you're done, the $1.99 episode will just get tacked on to your bill! And let me use this opportunity to announce that the iTunes Music Store now has every. single. episode. of. SpongeBob! [wild applause, men begin weeping] I know, I know, we finally cracked that nut! We got SpongeBob - take that, Beatles!! [continued wild applause]"

He goes on to talk about the seamless integration of your Mac, your iPhone/iPod, the table. The aesthetic beauty of the interface. The metallic curves of the table. The touchscreen that is fingerprint-resistant. He positions the screen as a better iPhone screen ("If 4 inches is good, 30 inches is amazing!!! We've opened the world to you!") If he can convince you to spend $500-600 on a phone, no one thinks twice when he asks for $10,000 for a table computer.

Walter Mossberg of the Wall Street Journal gives it all the stars in his rating scale, and brags about the fact that he has a test model in his home. A new "Hello, I'm a Mac" commercial comes out:

iSurface: "Hello, I'm an iSurface"
Wooden table: "And I'm a wooden table."
iS: "I can do fun stuff like edit photos, watch movies, and browse the web."
WT: "Well I can stand upright, and hold multiple Chinese dishes or pizzas."
iS: "I have a touchscreen that allows the people sitting around me to interact with my data"
WT: "I have a lovely burgundy finish that seals me against water and wood rot."
iS: "Wow, wooden table, that's great!"
WT: "Yep...I know...[depressed]...but you're so much more fun."
iS: "Oh, don't feel bad, wooden table. Can't you open spreadsheets and pie charts?"
WT: "Nope..."
iS: "Oh..."
WT: [silence]
iS: "Y'know, I can do that."
WT: [lights match, sets himself on fire]
[cue jingle, cut to white screen with Apple logo]

And not one PC user speaks up, pulling the Kool-Aid away from the feverish hysteria of Mac devotees and those who are now embarrassed of their boring wooden tables.

Product tie-ins start to appear: Jack Bauer uses an iSurface in the next season of 24, simultaneously conducting a web-based satellite screen for bad guys while eating the Jack Daniel's Chicken and Shrimp at TGI Friday's (you know, for sweeps week: " Tonight, on an all-new 24: See Jack Bauer eat for the first time! Next on FOX! This episode sponsored by Apple). Around the country, people line up down the street from the Apple Stores, trying to be one of the first to show their friends their iSurface. Nations like Iran & North Korea stop everything and devote all of their nations' resources to try and get their own iSurfaces (they can only get the one-terabyte version, while the western infidels have the option to get the $15,000 two-terabyte version). The world exists in a touch-sensitive-table utopia.

Oh, so I guess I had a question. Here it goes -- What's the likelihood that this is exactly how an Apple-designed surface computer would be received, as opposed to the sarcastic criticism of Bill Gates & Co's invention?
a) 100% likely
b) Entirely likely
c) That is exactly how it would happen
d) All of the above