Stone's Throw from Porn

PORNOGRAPHY!!!

Do I have your attention?

According to the October 6-12 issue of Time Out New York, I'm within about 300 feet of two of their eight top-rated neighborhood sex stores in all of New York City. I can only imagine how thrilled my family is about my apartment choice.

Here are a few select excerpts from my local sex shops:
Most succinct title: Big Piss, Volume 1 ($29.99)
Come here if: You're looking for that '70's wood-paneling vibe and you don't mind an odd hint of vinegar in the air.
Most potentially painful item: The Fist Dildo ($24.99)

Mind you, I subscribe to TONY for the restaurant reviews and bar recommendations. Instead I'm told the most disturbing video at Pleasure Video is called "Animal Porn: Eels", and the item with the most versimilitude is the Uncut Foreskin Realistic Cock dildo ($38.99)?? Great, now they just need some vaseline and a dictionary!

And isn't $38.99 a rip off? Personally, I'd wait for that baby to hit the discount rack, and then I imagine those things just sell themselves!

p.s. I feel dirty just writing about this