Food-Based Discrimination

I love Jewish delis. Their sliced meat is always top notch, their square knishes melt in my mouth, and who doesn't love a Dr. Browns every now and again?

As a member of the financial services community, SeamlessWeb is an indispensable method of ordering food. For those unfamiliar with SeamlessWeb, it's a web-based service that allows you to peruse the menus of many local restaurants and delivery joints, order what you like, and charge it either to a credit card or a firm account.

6 months ago, they had two of the best delis in the city registered: Mendy's and Lenny's. Then mysteriously, Lenny's disappeared one day without warning. No one seemed to have an answer.

As my registered list of local restaurants blossomed with Asian combos, Indian buffets, and those pseudo-gourmet deli chains with those atrocious pre-made paninis, the number of Jewish delicatessens dropped 50%.

Last month, Mendy's was removed from the listings as well.

So today, I had enough. When they come for me, who will be left to speak up?? So I wrote SeamlessWeb accusing them of anti-Semitism as they systematically remove Jewish delis from their listings. I think I used the word conspiracy.

I was, of course, completely kidding.

30 minutes later, I actually received a letter from customer service reassuring me that they were not, in fact, ethnically cleansing their restaurant listings:
"I assure you that there is no conspiracy to advocate the deli chains instead of delis."

They were, of course, completely serious.